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What did I do to deserve this?

 

 withlove

 

Today was very cold. So cold that I struggled to get out of bed this morning. I know everyday is a blessing but I had no idea how special tonight would be. Right now, my heart feels like it's grown ten times bigger. It feels like it could explode any minute. Tim is laughing at me. 

After getting our daily work done (shipping out Bubbi orders), Tim and I decided to check out the PO Box. He reached his hand in and out came a whole big stack of letters. My jaw dropped to the ground. All I wanted to do was sit on the post office floor and start opening your letters. We had a whole day of errands ahead but I just couldn't wait to get home to read your letters.

Finally, we were home. I took a quick shower because I wanted to be squeaky clean and comfortable whilst reading your precous letters. I always say how overwhelmed I get reading your letters but I feel like overwhelmed is an understatement to how I feel. I'm pretty shaken (in a good way) right now that I'm a little scatter brained so forgive me while I try to process my words. 

I released the PO Box not too long ago. I know some of you wanted to write to me and for years, I put it off because I just felt like you have done more than enough for me. Are you kidding me? I would not be who I am today without you guys holding my hand. What more could you offer? I was afraid you guys will waste time and money on me. However, I understood your good intentions and I knew you guys wanted to do it out of a good heart. I love hearing from you guys so I released the PO Box only on my vlog channel. 

I remember mentioning that it will be nice to receive a greeting card. What you guys posted me, was a piece of your heart. 

I recieved Christmas cards. Each one so beautiful and unique. I even got photos so I was able to see your faces. Some even included pictures of your adorable furry friends. I got handmade plushies. Some of you spent time and effort to sew me something that's one of a kind. There were postcards, a poem, stickers and most of all- your heart to heart letters. In each letter, you guys thanked me but I felt like my heart was screaming "NO! Thank YOU!!!!". 

I am thankful for each and every letter. I know there was nothing but love in your hearts as you guys wrote each word. I'm honoured some of you see me as a sister or friend rather than a random chick who makes videos on Youtube. Thank you for adopting me as a sister... I'm thankful you guys trust me enough to open up to me. What an honour. 

When I decided to film vlogs, I just decided to do it because it was fun and easy. Never had I imagined it will become something that could turn a bad day to a not-so-bad day for you guys. It just gives us even more reasons to keep doing this now.

Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for walking this adventure with me. Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do on Youtube. I will always remember this.

I am here to build big people. 

Deep at the bottom of my heart, I have to admit I do feel unworthy. I feel like you guys over praise me. In some moments, I can't help but feel guilty. Truth is, I'm not as good or as perfect as some of you see me. I wish you guys will see all the mistakes I do every single day. However, I want to thank you for accepting me as I am. I'm so glad my videos inspire you to live life happy and inspired. 

These letters I have here, are precious to me. If I'm blessed to live to an old age, I will be able to look back and remember how lucky I was, to be able to love others and be loved. Thank you for making these beautiful memories with me. I will be forever thankful.

I mentioned a little while back that I was able to write back to several letters but due to the large mass, I want to say sorry if I'm not able to write back but I am so very thankful for your letter. I will try my best to write back as much as I can but at the same time, I hope you guys understand. If would be a lot awesome if you guys provided me an email address so I can respond back more efficiently =) 

I will be sleeping with a big big big smile on my face. To those who haven't written to me physically. Thank you for taking the time to write to me whether it's through Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or email. To those who are silent watchers, thank you so much for sticking by me. You mean so much more to me than you know. 

 

Goodnight world! 

 

Love, Bubz xx 

 

 

 

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