Boyfriends and Farts
- Sunday, 11 March 2012
Today, I want to talk about the topic of 'Boyfriends and farts'. Not as separate topics because well, they go together like bread and butter (but not as cute). First of all, farting is just farting. BIG DEAL! Farting is healthy! They aren't made to be held in. If you're a dude and reading this, I'm sorry to break it to you buddy but regardless of what you've been told- girls fart too.
Tim and I have been together for almost 9 years now. We're at a stage in our relationship where we are comfortable enough to well... not be embarrassed about farting I guess (actually, it's got to the stage we use it against each other now...as WEAPONS >=D). Yes, that ship sailed a loooong time ago. I still remember during our earlier dating days, I was laughing at something he said and I accidentally let out a teeny fart. I can still remember how it sounded. It sounded like a high pitched short horn. I was so embarrassed I even tried to blame it on the baby next to me. How shameful of me! I still remember Tim's words clearly and today I still use it against him. He said "Aww, I think your farts are so cute. They don't even smell". HAHAHA, bet he regrets saying this suckkkkkaaaaa!
I know some couples who still don't fart in front of each other. I must give them props! Those days of holding it in for hours just to do it discreetly in a room are long gone. We've even got to a point where we can identify if the fart we smell is each others. Yes, if somebody farts near us- I will know whether it belongs to Tim's or not and vice versa. It's a little disturbing but it's true. People always find it odd when I say "Ok, who farted? It's not me and it's definitely not Tim's. His is way more vile than this. Own up! You should be ashamed of yourself".
Just like if we're out in public and I smell that something isn't right in the air. I would turn around to see Tim's guilty (but also proud) face looking back at me. That smug face. He always does it in inconsiderate places too like elevators, lifts, small corridors and aisles. One time it was handy though because we were in a book shop and these girls were standing in front of the shelf I wanted to check out. Tim walked over to see what I was up to and he brought along his wrath. Then I smelt 'death' in the air and his guilty smile confirmed his crime. Needless to say, the girls quickly disappeared (in fact, that entire corner of the room was empty). So he kind of helped me really. My hero.........
Today when we were out having dinner, I told him I really needed to but I didn't want to do it in public. I just can't! I'm fine doing it front of my boyfriend and my family but public? I just can't. He then replied in a very normal straight face "Just go ahead and do it. I love you so much, I'll take the blame for you". Which is actually the most romantic thing he's said to me this week. This is ironic because when he farts, most of the time he would point his finger at me and blame it on me by saying "AWHH LINDY! THAT'S SICK!" leaving me red faced in the mall.
Tim and I would go through the trouble of trying to stop each other eating certain foods. I always try to stop him from eating beans =( and if he does- I try to avoid him for most of the day. At the same time, we would also go through the trouble of getting off our desks to go to each other's rooms to 'relieve gas' for each other to endure. All for revenge. It's a sad game we play really...
Ladies, I want to know how you are like with your boyfriends fart wise. To my single girlies, would you be comfortable enough to stink them out? If you think about it- farting just means you're comfortable with each other thus is a sign of love. It is how what love smells like. Love smells like farts.
It's amazing a little fart is all it takes to break up the serious tension in the atmosphere. It seems really immature but why are farts so humorous? Why is it that during a meaningful speech- SOMEONE out there has to let out a loud wet fart? And why is it always so funny? And how it becomes not so funny when you're the victim of someone who is on a roll with immense deadly farts. Why is it when we do smell a fart and know it's not ours, we MUST find out who it's from? It's funny right? Share the joy (Except on me please)!
Have a happy farting week everybody!
Ps. Just to clarify. Mine smell like sunshine and rainbows =D
Much love, Bubz xx
(Please still love me!! lol Oh come on! This ain't the first day you know me. I'm constantly talking about farts and poos!)