- Wednesday, 22 February 2012
I feel bad! I was excited because I am finally able to sit down and type a diary entry. I was kicking my feet repeatedly under my table and didn't know Chubbi was running underneath it. Yep, smacked her right in the face with my foot. She's off to huff now. I will bribe her with treats and tug-o-war later. YEY a diary entry!
Not that you guys need to know but I spent today feeling like crap. I got a sore tummy and not that you guys need to know this but damn it, I got a sore butt now (too much info). But I feel a lot better now. I will let you know when I type from the toilet (if you know what I mean again! Enjoy the image LOL).
Anyways, I want to thank my brother in law for installing a commenting system on the site. The site is now more interactive ='). He even added a Boyfriend section so Tim can now blog too! He better not blog about Starcraft. Who knows, his next blog post might be a post complaining about me because I uninstalled the software XD
I want to talk about gossiping today.
Nope. Nobody is gossiping about me. Actually, people probably gossip about me all the time but you know what I mean. Not that I know of from my friends and family.
I know people love to gossip. It's just in human nature because we're given a mouth so we just like to talk talk talk. This isn't just about girls but even guys can be gossip queens! I sometimes gossip too =_=. There is just something addictive about gossiping. I don't know how you guys define gossip, but to me - I see gossiping as 'discussing about other people'. I don't mean in a positive way either. As girls, we love a good banter but just how innocent is 'innocent gossiping?'.
I really try to discipline myself these days to not gossip because I realised it's unhealthy and hmm..a bad habit. I've distanced myself from some friends because I realised their gossiping nature wasn't good for me. I started to see behind the gossip and I realised that their negativity was starting to spread on to me. When you spend enough person with a gossipy person, you will eventually gossip too. You've heard the saying, people who gossip to you will gossip about you right?
I used to love reading celebrity magazines to find out the latest scandals. Why are we so freaking nosy? It's none of our business. I don't know, maybe it's our way to distract ourselves from our dull lives. We stick our noses into situations that's not even the slightest bit related to us. You know what guys? There used to even be blog sites that I used to visit. Not frequently, only occasionally if I am really bored (I'm not talking about the forum site by the way, I don't visit that place for sure). I'm not even fond of these websites. They are childish, judgemental and simply put- unhealthy for us. They discuss the lives of other people and make horrible assumptions. I couldn't stand what I was reading but yet, SOMEHOW I would find myself on that site a month or two later. There are things that I learnt about gossipy magazines/websites/gossipy friends:
- When you talk bad about a person, you actually spread the negativity. So a person can originally like a person but after being told something about that person, he/she could suddenly change their mind about them.
- It's an unhealthy habit. It even starts to change how you view yourself. When you do it enough, you can even become resentful.
- It's not as innocent as you think
So these days, when I know I'm about to say something that could come off negative. I just tell myself to shut up. My big sister told me that at times she would find herself in middle of a conversation, she would then realise that she was on her way to bad mouthing somebody. To prevent herself from gossiping, she would somehow bend the conversation and talk about something completely different. So for example, she was probably about to say "I hate it when he thinks he's the best and bosses me around in the office" but it ended up being "I hate it when... you brush your teeth and you end up sneezing and foam goes all over the mirror". It was very embarrassing for her but it saved her from guilt afterwards. My big sister is very honest and straightforward. Sometimes the things she says can sound brutal but I know she says the things because she loves me and cares about me. I'm really glad I have such a great sister to look up to.
Now, if somebody upsets or angers me. I try very hard not to share it to others. Believe me, it's tough but I know it's for the better. I know if I do talk about it, I will just end up making this person sound like an absolutely ass for the sake of my comfort. I would just be looking for the listener to agree with me. I don't want to give in to my pride if this is the case. In most cases, I end up being more frustrated anyway so why do I bother? After all, you may love gossiping but you wouldn't like it if you were being gossiped about right? If you're just going to talk bad for the sake of talking, then maybe it's better to keep quiet instead.
I will just focus on myself, my friends and my loved ones. I don't want to be nosy and I don't want to be the reason for sharing negativity. I don't even want to read/listen to negativity either. There are so many more things in life that matters and entertains me.
So now I look back at some of my friends who are still resentful and bitter and I just pray they will get it one day. I had a friend who is actually a lovely girl but she has so much resentment for an ex-friend of hers. She would stalk her photos on Facebook and send me the 'bad pictures' just to tease her makeup or how she does her hair. She feels better pointing out other people's flaws but she has no idea how the resentment is eating her heart up by the minute. With so much resentment in her heart, there isn't room for joy. I eventually drifted from her because we ran out of topics to talk about. I no longer wanted to hear the gossiping and I payed no attention to the negativity. I confronted her and told her in the kindest way that she needs to change her view in things or she will just continue to hurt herself. She told me to calm down and it was just harmless. I know it's not harmless. She was trying to spread the negativity. She didn't get it.
To people who are being gossiped about
Hey, you're not alone. You can't control what others say but you can control how you choose to deal with it. Sometimes, people can't help the way they are and you have to accept that you might not be able to change how they think. You might as well just go ahead and do the right thing yourself rather than waiting because they may never actually do the right thing . You can just stay true to yourself and focus on your family, friends and loved ones. These are the people's opinions who should matter. Remember "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"- Dr Seuss. Don't let yourself be defeated on other people's opinion and certainly don't suffocate yourself trying to live on people's expectations. If people can't be happy for you- you go ahead and be happy for youself ^_^.
So the jist of this post is, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". Before you enter yourself into a world of gossip, ask yourself is what you're about to hear/read good for your soul and heart? How does it make you feel knowing what you are reading/listening can hurt hurt to others?
Focus on yourself and try to not be so distracted with other people's business. The minute you stop gossiping and being distracted from the world of gossip- you will seriously feel your more happiness in your life. Not only will you do the World a favour, you will also do it for yourself. Keep smiling guys!
Much love, Bubz xx