I had a baby!!
- Saturday, 30 August 2014
So I should have a solid hour or so before Isaac wakes up so let's write a diary update shall we?
It's hard to believe that just a week ago, I was in labour. I can still remember everything that was in the labour room. It's even harder to believe that I am a new mommy. I look at the mirror each morning and I am still in disbelief. I look the same. I feel the same. However, everything is different.
Isaac was born into the world on 28th August 2014. He was induced because doctors feared he would be too big to be delivered if he were close to his due date. We're so happy to share the birth of our baby boy with you all.
Birth of our baby boy, Isaac Ng
It was actually hard for me to talk about my birth for many reasons. I didn't expect the birth to go perfectly but it was kinda tough. I felt like a lot of things could've been avoided. Even thinking about my experience at the hospital upsets me a little but I realised dwelling on it won't change anything. Instead, I focus that my baby boy is healthy into the world. I should focus my attention on giving him the best care instead.
Adapting to new parenthood definitely isn't easy. Mentally and physically, it just drains you of energy. I have a new found respect for all the parents around the world.
I'm not gonna lie. As magical as people make parenthood to be (which it is), I feel like there's a lot of things that people don't like to admit. I felt ashamed because even though I was so happy to bring my baby home, I can't say I loved being a new mommy right away. I cried hysterically for the first few days. It's definitely a mixture of reasons. I was going through postnatal emotions, recovering from a c-section, sleep deprived, overwhelmed by the responsibilities of a new parent and stressed about getting work done in the future. In the end, it was really just the fatigue and hormones acting up. Tim and I have always been very loving towards each other and we found ourselves being too tired to talk to each other. This upset me the most and on the 3rd night, we both cried it out and promised each other that we will always have mutual respect for each other no matter what. It's a huge shift in lifestyle and I know it will get easier and it's totally worth it. I had some girlfriends tell me they cried for weeks and I hate to admit this but it made me feel better. I stopped crying after the 3rd day so that isn't too bad right? Hehehe...
Remember I complained that I didn't want a postnatal doula? I bit my tongue and agreed to make my mum and my mum-in-law happy? I am so glad she is here to guide me. She mainly concentrates on getting me back to good health but she has been teaching me so much. I am so thankful for her. Tim and I don't have our parents around to help us out so she is like the mother figure that guides us into parenthood to make us better parents. I can see how much she adores Isaac as well. She's just wonderful and a blessing in our lives.
I think of Isaac when he was alone in the baby unit and wired up and it breaks my heart. Now, I wake up and I see he is a little chubbier by the day and it's all worth it. Everyday, I'm learning to be more patient and understanding.
I guess we'll be entering the next chapter together. Walking into parenthood. We're starting to get into a routine (yey) so vlogs should be up and running very soon. I pre-filmed some Bubzbeauty videos to slowly release as well. I just gotta calm down and learn to stress less. Nobody puts pressure on me but myself. Instead, I'm going to enjoy my new baby and cherish bonding with him.
We are surprised how someone so little can scream so loud and poop so much. However, he won't be little forever. One day, I'm gonna wish he's little again =')
Alright. Time to feed this chubby spring roll!
Until next time!
Love, Bubz xx